What Grammy’s or
Pop Pop’s conversations can mean.
“But
people on the road to character understand that no person can achieve
self-mastery on his or her own. Individual will, reason and compassion are not
strong enough to consistently defeat selfishness, pride and self-deception [and
fear.] We all need redemptive assistance from outside.” David Brooks “The Moral Bucket List” NYT
April 14, 2015
Grammy’s, Pop Pop's fewer words, or a teacher who is not punitive but caring and instructive are the
“assistance from outside.” We remember
those meaningful conversations: I
remember my grandmother said, “…” or my dad said, “…” It’s advice to live by. And sometimes what we do is more meaningful than what we say.
In
this blog I
will instruct, observe and narrate on times with children. At this later stage of our lives I like to
think we have a wiser, experienced view of life. Sometimes we know our children better than
they know themselves because we know that core being. From birth we watched the
choices they made as they made them. We
watched them fall down and hopefully learn to pick themselves up. We are now grand grandparents and what a
wonderful role that is.
When do you step in and say something to a
son or daughter about how they are raising their child? When do you help with a health decision? When do you intervene in a difficult decision
node with a grandchild – should he/she wear a patch on his/her eye because the
doctor has instructed it or find a different doctor? Which school should he/she go to?
I have no research but it appears our
children want us involved in their lives.
There is a line, but if we behave we can have wonderful relationships
with our grandkids and kids. They like
Grammy and Pop Pop to babysit. They like
a connection with an extended family. It
is a growing trend across the country: boomer
grandparents moving closer or children moving to grandparents. With both
parents working hard and not able to match their parents’ life style they want
and need free care by caring grandparents.
It’s important to help out but not cross the line when you don’t agree
with your kids’ decisions. It’s
sometimes a hard walk to walk.
